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But knowing something of my painful romantic past, she was understanding and didn’t think less of me because of these strange fantasies I had. As we discussed them, Sue asked me the inevitable question. Did I want to share her with another guy? My answer was instantaneous and emphatic. Hell no! I’d spent years trying to find a girlfriend, and having found someone as amazing and beautiful as Sue, why on earth would I risk it all by sharing her with a guy who was like the kind of man I pictured. Knowing it doesn't stop the ache in my depths. Logic and emotions don’t mix. Flinging myself into the corner of the couch, my hair dances around me in a symphony of frustration. Even the cushions bounce a little with the violence of my movements. I curl those toes under me, digging into the upholstery. My fists press into my eyes. I haven’t actually heard from you, and there has been no real reason to expect you. Except, it is Friday again, and I know you are home. Typically, you show up at. As she reaches her car, she hears a noise be-hind her and feel’s hands reaching around her for thekeys. He whispers in her ear, “Be quiet.. just get intothe back seat.” She thinks she recognizes his voice, butit’s so dark… He drives off, heading toward the lake. Carolecan’t see his face…the radio plays loudly and there’sno talk. When they reach a secluded spot near the lake,he turns to her and smiles. “Will! It’s you! But. He recognized his mother’s beautiful cursive writing. There were random words under each section – Paul Sr. and Paul Jr; describing her love and desires for each of them. Then, he turned to the section that said – ME. He began to read his mother’s deep desires, fantasies, and secretive thoughts that no one knows. “Wow!” he exclaimed as his jaw dropped when he read softly….“…. Paul Jr. is a young man now. Wonder if he will understand my physical needs. My desire to be ravaged by multiple men and.
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